A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband’s temper.

The doctor asks: “So what seems to be the problem?”

The woman says: “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason at all. It’s starting to scare me.”

The Doctor tells her: “I think i have just the cure for that. When it seems your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish, and swish, but don’t swallow it until he leaves the room or decides to go to bed.

“Two weeks later, the woman returns, looking fresh and reborn. The woman says: “Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started to lose it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How How does a glass of water do that?!”

The Doctor informs her: “The water itself does nothing. It’s having to keep your mouth shut that does the trick.”

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

“If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.” Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. “How long will this take?” I ask.

“They will grow larger over a period of years,” my husband replies. I stopped. “Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?” Without missing a beat he says, “Worked for your butt didn’t it?”