- She’s silent
- She’s yelling
- She acts the same
- She acts different
- She murdered you
My Love Dress
A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son’s house.
She knocked on the door and then immediately walked in.
She was shocked to see her daughter-in- law lying on the couch, totally naked.
Soft music was playing and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
“What are you doing?!” she asked.
“I’m waiting for Mike to come home from work,” the daughter-in- law answered.
“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.
“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.
“Love dress? But you’re naked!”
“Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It excites him to no end.
Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and he can’t get enough of me. The mother in law left.
When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home.
He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“This is my love dress,” she whispered sensually.
“Needs ironing,” he said. “What’s for dinner?”
He never heard the gunshot.
Relationship Tip for Men
Swanson Pyramid of Greatness
Missing the Fishing Trip
Four guys have been going on the same fishing trip for many years.
Two days before the group is to leave, Ron’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going.Ron’s friends are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do?
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, dinner cooking on the fire and drinking a cold beer.
“Ron, how long have you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?”
“Well, I’ve been here since last night. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, ‘Guess who?” I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie.
She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. Well, she’s been reading that 50 Shades of Grey book ……
On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did. And then she said, “Do whatever you want.”
So, here I am!
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